My colleague sent me a bunch of funny TVCs that he received from his friend. I didn't have time to view it yesterday due to the ever overloading work. I am still waiting for my turn to meet my CEO. My colleague and I supposed to have our presentation on the 2008 campaign at 8pm. Now is already 9.04pm and I am still waiting outside his room.
He is still having a meeting that started 7pm from an external party. With the centralised aircon off since 6pm, it's very stuffy waiting for my turn to see the CEO. Well, looking at the bright side, tomorrow is Saturday and I can rest at home. Tomorrow I'm going to run some errand and this will be fun.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Sandwich
Since I came back from my CNY leaves, work just pile up and working environment is getting more tense. Reporting to a CEO and being the head of a department, I'm always squash in between management, sales and my staff. It's just extremely difficult to adjust myself and satisfy everyone. If I comply to one side, I'll get question by the other 2 sides. No matter how I juggle it, swist it, 50%-50% it, it never work. It bounces to have 2 sides come complaining to me about their dissatisfaction or disagreement of my action.
I wish someone will tell me how to manage a stupid company with stupid people inside. I feel like walk out of the office and the job in 24 hours. I don't care about not having job, I don't care about financial implications, I don't care about not getting my last salary due to my 24hours action. I don't care about the legal action company might take due to my walk out. I've been push to the corner and I really can't take it anymore. Everything I do, instead of trying to understand my situation and the position I'm in, I only hear whinning and complaint. I do it - wrong, I don't do it - wrong. No matter what I do, there's no correct answer or solution.
In reality, I need this job. During this time when the US slowdown and weak dollar currency, I can't loose this job because this is one of the most stable companies in the country. I can't afford go without salary for even a month because of my commitment. I wish I didn't started the commitment. I never like any commitment. My work from home hasn't started. It can't start until I move in to my new place. After that, I still have to prepare some of the stuff before my SOHO can kick start. So, for the time being, I don't have any solution and have to make the best out of it everyday.
I wish someone will tell me how to manage a stupid company with stupid people inside. I feel like walk out of the office and the job in 24 hours. I don't care about not having job, I don't care about financial implications, I don't care about not getting my last salary due to my 24hours action. I don't care about the legal action company might take due to my walk out. I've been push to the corner and I really can't take it anymore. Everything I do, instead of trying to understand my situation and the position I'm in, I only hear whinning and complaint. I do it - wrong, I don't do it - wrong. No matter what I do, there's no correct answer or solution.
In reality, I need this job. During this time when the US slowdown and weak dollar currency, I can't loose this job because this is one of the most stable companies in the country. I can't afford go without salary for even a month because of my commitment. I wish I didn't started the commitment. I never like any commitment. My work from home hasn't started. It can't start until I move in to my new place. After that, I still have to prepare some of the stuff before my SOHO can kick start. So, for the time being, I don't have any solution and have to make the best out of it everyday.
Friday, February 22, 2008
The Election and The Office
Election is around the corner and every night, one third or two third of the news is about the election campaign. The heat is getting hotter by the days and I aspect many will return home to vote. Friday before and Monday after the election day will see many people take leaves. flags, banting, banners are up around the cities, towns and villages. Nowadays you see leaders visiting the rakyat, which is the common scene during this period. After the election, you'll only see them meet the rakyat maybe once a year if you're lucky. The campaign period will starts soon, the ceramah will starts soon.
We are not the only country on election fever. US and Pakistan are also hot into the election mood. Anyway, I'm not into politic and hates it. Politic in the office is enough to drive me crazy.
I applied for a new job last month and unfortunately I fell the second interview. The MD doesn't feel confident that I can do my job well. He feels that my current responsibilities are easy and not much work to be done. He feels that I only monitor and nothing else. How I wish THIS IS my only responsibility. It would be an easy job. Don't you think so? I don't have to take on other people's work and other department's work. It would be blessing if I don't have to resolve work delay due to other department or stuff. Even I have work really hard last year, my performance is not based on individual achievement. It's based on the ridiculous shared performance where I don't have any control nor any information about it at hand. Worse, I'm not even involve in it directly or indirectly. First time in my career life that I don't have bonus and a unvalid performance.
This has hamper my mood and my drive to work and to improve the internal business processes anymore. It's now just a job take I get my salary every month and not a place I can grow. However, being in my position, I am unable to show my demotivation in front of 40 over staff reporting to me. They have work hard and have improve over the year since I joined this company. No doubt it is still a long way to go, but in general all have shown some improvement and taking more responsibilities. It's like in the election, there are ups and downs.
I no longer able to make decision at free will like I do 3 years ago. When I don't like my work or the environment, I just pack my stuff and hand in my letter. Then I will take my sweet time to look for another job. I can just stay at home and catch up with my own things. Days like these have long gone. I just it's part and parcel of life as you get older. As one gets older, money become more and more important in life. We don't have unemployed benefits like in Aussie or in Europe.
Planning to further studies has always been in my mind. Unfortunately, financial is the hinderance. With the rising living cost, I always wonder how everyone who earns less than 2k survive throughout the month. It's tough when all essential items are on the rise and will never goes down again. Unfortunately, salary in general are the same for the past 4-5 years. Even though we see in the news the government servant getting pay rise, it is actually about the price one pay for every increase monthly. In reality, there's no increase in the standard of living. Increase standard of living is when the salary is higher in comparision to the cost of living.
I hope my mood and aspiration will improve next week, anyway I doubt it. Like someone said, life goes on...
We are not the only country on election fever. US and Pakistan are also hot into the election mood. Anyway, I'm not into politic and hates it. Politic in the office is enough to drive me crazy.
I applied for a new job last month and unfortunately I fell the second interview. The MD doesn't feel confident that I can do my job well. He feels that my current responsibilities are easy and not much work to be done. He feels that I only monitor and nothing else. How I wish THIS IS my only responsibility. It would be an easy job. Don't you think so? I don't have to take on other people's work and other department's work. It would be blessing if I don't have to resolve work delay due to other department or stuff. Even I have work really hard last year, my performance is not based on individual achievement. It's based on the ridiculous shared performance where I don't have any control nor any information about it at hand. Worse, I'm not even involve in it directly or indirectly. First time in my career life that I don't have bonus and a unvalid performance.
This has hamper my mood and my drive to work and to improve the internal business processes anymore. It's now just a job take I get my salary every month and not a place I can grow. However, being in my position, I am unable to show my demotivation in front of 40 over staff reporting to me. They have work hard and have improve over the year since I joined this company. No doubt it is still a long way to go, but in general all have shown some improvement and taking more responsibilities. It's like in the election, there are ups and downs.
I no longer able to make decision at free will like I do 3 years ago. When I don't like my work or the environment, I just pack my stuff and hand in my letter. Then I will take my sweet time to look for another job. I can just stay at home and catch up with my own things. Days like these have long gone. I just it's part and parcel of life as you get older. As one gets older, money become more and more important in life. We don't have unemployed benefits like in Aussie or in Europe.
Planning to further studies has always been in my mind. Unfortunately, financial is the hinderance. With the rising living cost, I always wonder how everyone who earns less than 2k survive throughout the month. It's tough when all essential items are on the rise and will never goes down again. Unfortunately, salary in general are the same for the past 4-5 years. Even though we see in the news the government servant getting pay rise, it is actually about the price one pay for every increase monthly. In reality, there's no increase in the standard of living. Increase standard of living is when the salary is higher in comparision to the cost of living.
I hope my mood and aspiration will improve next week, anyway I doubt it. Like someone said, life goes on...
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
My CNY And A Lousy Start
This year I finally managed to get a leave for my CNY and went back to my hometown. After being absent for 2 years, it feels really great to be home. I got to see cousins whom I haven't seen for 10 years some even more. It was great to talked to them and learned about things that happened in their lifes.
As usual, CNY was accompany with heavy rain almost 24 hours since the 1st day of CNY till I left my hometown. I met up with friends that I haven't seen for years and luckily they still remember me coz I'm hopeless in remember people's names after 2-3 years lost contact. Good to hear that I still look the same albeit my weight. At least I haven't aged much. I guess age is every metropolitan female's concern nowadays. Another concern is health issue. When I was home, it was great to eat home-cook food everyday. Whatever I feel like eating, mom will cook or make. Besides that, I took the liberty to learn some of my favourite food recipes so I can cook for myself. After working and eating out for so many years, it's special to be able to cook my favourite food. It might not be as good as my mom's but at least I can to eat a similar taste of food.
Besides that, I had been busy with a few things during the holiday. This means going out almost daily. I noticed how my hometown has developed over the last 2 years. More and more buildings are built, road widen, flyover constructed, new shopping centers and more franchice businesses operated. One thing that hasn't change is the people hospitality and the cleaniness of the city. The old coffee shops are still existing strongly. So everyday after I settle one thing, I would go the one of the coffee shops to have branch or lunch.
My pet received some treats too. I bought its favourite titbits and she was happily munching away. So before I left for work, I bought a few packets for she can it when I'm away. When I left for airport, she was whinning away from the backyard. Poor doggy.
I reached the metropolitan city on Sunday and my sudden adaptation is the weather here. Then comes the food. After eating mom's food for 1 week, it will take me to adjust to the oily food here. Luckily, I packed some food from mom and able to heat it up. I also packed some pre-mix ingredient that I can use to cook right away.
Being back to work didn't take off on a good note. firstly, I had to get up at 4am in the morning after arriving from my vacation for a business trip. I was almost late for check-in as I arrived 5 minutes before the counter closed. Luckily my colleage called me 10 minutes before the counter closed. I was almost reaching the airport and upon hearing the news, what else, I asked the taxi driver to speed! Ran over the red lights! Well, it's still so early in the morning and there was no traffic. It was only a day trip so we were back to the airport in the evening. When I arrived home, I was down with migrane due to the weather and the food. I ended up skipping dinner and went to bed after taking medication.
Today is the first day I get back to office to start work. Well, it didn't start well since early morning. Firstly, my car-poll friend didn't sms or call me that he's not picking me up. I waited stupidly for 45 minutes. Yes, he did called yesterday telling me go first if he's late but I would appreciate a sms to confirm. Why? I won't want to go first and he ended up arriving my home to pick me. Not admitting his mistake, he is with his black face and idiot mood today. Sometime I wish I can really work from home. A SOHO business. This is still my goal. Working alone I don't have to face people's attitude. With a bad start, I had to go through 200+ emails and mostly problematic emails. That took up the whole morning and part of the afternoon. First day at work and I have a meeting at 8pm tonight. Talking about first day at work.
I feel like giving up... but my mind and heart telling me not to do it. My cousin told me to just don't care and be indifference if the office problem is not my fault or responsibility. If others don't take the initiative, why trouble myself to ensure things get done on time? I don't have to fight for my stuff all the time because they won't standby me when big issue rise or I'm in trouble or if my career is in trouble. People are selfish, that's human nature. Just take the salary, she said. Can I be that person? Maybe I have to learn to be one because things like this always happen to me. Maybe because I'm too kind heart and people know and they take advantage of it. Maybe I shouldn't help everything people ask because I don't really see they help me. Yeah, it's time for some changes. I had some time to think during my holiday and I agreed that I should be more selfish.
As usual, CNY was accompany with heavy rain almost 24 hours since the 1st day of CNY till I left my hometown. I met up with friends that I haven't seen for years and luckily they still remember me coz I'm hopeless in remember people's names after 2-3 years lost contact. Good to hear that I still look the same albeit my weight. At least I haven't aged much. I guess age is every metropolitan female's concern nowadays. Another concern is health issue. When I was home, it was great to eat home-cook food everyday. Whatever I feel like eating, mom will cook or make. Besides that, I took the liberty to learn some of my favourite food recipes so I can cook for myself. After working and eating out for so many years, it's special to be able to cook my favourite food. It might not be as good as my mom's but at least I can to eat a similar taste of food.
Besides that, I had been busy with a few things during the holiday. This means going out almost daily. I noticed how my hometown has developed over the last 2 years. More and more buildings are built, road widen, flyover constructed, new shopping centers and more franchice businesses operated. One thing that hasn't change is the people hospitality and the cleaniness of the city. The old coffee shops are still existing strongly. So everyday after I settle one thing, I would go the one of the coffee shops to have branch or lunch.
My pet received some treats too. I bought its favourite titbits and she was happily munching away. So before I left for work, I bought a few packets for she can it when I'm away. When I left for airport, she was whinning away from the backyard. Poor doggy.
I reached the metropolitan city on Sunday and my sudden adaptation is the weather here. Then comes the food. After eating mom's food for 1 week, it will take me to adjust to the oily food here. Luckily, I packed some food from mom and able to heat it up. I also packed some pre-mix ingredient that I can use to cook right away.
Being back to work didn't take off on a good note. firstly, I had to get up at 4am in the morning after arriving from my vacation for a business trip. I was almost late for check-in as I arrived 5 minutes before the counter closed. Luckily my colleage called me 10 minutes before the counter closed. I was almost reaching the airport and upon hearing the news, what else, I asked the taxi driver to speed! Ran over the red lights! Well, it's still so early in the morning and there was no traffic. It was only a day trip so we were back to the airport in the evening. When I arrived home, I was down with migrane due to the weather and the food. I ended up skipping dinner and went to bed after taking medication.
Today is the first day I get back to office to start work. Well, it didn't start well since early morning. Firstly, my car-poll friend didn't sms or call me that he's not picking me up. I waited stupidly for 45 minutes. Yes, he did called yesterday telling me go first if he's late but I would appreciate a sms to confirm. Why? I won't want to go first and he ended up arriving my home to pick me. Not admitting his mistake, he is with his black face and idiot mood today. Sometime I wish I can really work from home. A SOHO business. This is still my goal. Working alone I don't have to face people's attitude. With a bad start, I had to go through 200+ emails and mostly problematic emails. That took up the whole morning and part of the afternoon. First day at work and I have a meeting at 8pm tonight. Talking about first day at work.
I feel like giving up... but my mind and heart telling me not to do it. My cousin told me to just don't care and be indifference if the office problem is not my fault or responsibility. If others don't take the initiative, why trouble myself to ensure things get done on time? I don't have to fight for my stuff all the time because they won't standby me when big issue rise or I'm in trouble or if my career is in trouble. People are selfish, that's human nature. Just take the salary, she said. Can I be that person? Maybe I have to learn to be one because things like this always happen to me. Maybe because I'm too kind heart and people know and they take advantage of it. Maybe I shouldn't help everything people ask because I don't really see they help me. Yeah, it's time for some changes. I had some time to think during my holiday and I agreed that I should be more selfish.
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