It was 9.00am, Friday and I received a call from my boss. During the brief conversation he remind me to be well prepared for this Sunday. I was asked to go for a 2-day management retreat in a highland resort near KL. When he mentioned if I would like Sham to joined, I was reluctant to update him about our fight on Wednesday night. I was in luck as he let me decide if Sham should be going. However, he did hint that Sham should go. Looking at Sham's current situation, I don't think he will ever want to go. I don't think he sees it as an added value to his career advancement and learning processes.
I had a hard time trying to focus on my preparation and homework given by my boss to be present during the meeting at 10am, Sunday. I was feeling really down and I wish I could call teddy to chit chat and get me off my worries. I was down with fever by Saturday so I stayed in bed the whole day. In the afternoon, I drag myself out of bed to go to a bookstore to get a few leadership books. I realised that I need a lot of improvement on leadership and management. As my boss said, nothing is stopping me from learning. I bought 4 books. It was quite a bargain for one book because I get 2 books for the price of one. When I reached home, I started reading some of the points.
It was not until early Sunday that I started to prepare my presentation and finished my assignment. By 7.45am, I was in a taxi on the way to office, the meeting point for my boss to pick me. He was there 10 mins early. Luckily, it was early morning Sunday so no traffic on the road. After that, we have to pick up my CFO. by the time we reached the resort, it was on time to start the meeting. It was a brainstorming session. There were a lot of points put forward by each department and their obsticles. I learnt to understand them. I tried my best to gel into the group and talk to everybody. Even though I might not have the same perceptive or view point with everyone, I tried to learn and work as a team. I noticed that one of the head wasn't mixing well with the rest and a pair still prefer to be together. I don't blame them, you tend to stick to the one you're in tune with.
Unfortunately for me, my partner-in-crime has given up on me and the company and opportunity that might happen. I reached office straight from the resort and I was thrown back to reality. Again he mentioned to my face that his line and career objective is not here. Immediately all that motivate me puff out of the window. All the new business development I am dependent on him. As he clearly spelled out to me that I am too dependent on him. I guess I really am. In order for me to achieve my KPI, I needed him. Now that I lost his support, I know I will fail.
Today I decided to give up. My plan for my career advancement and portfolio in this company I have to let go. Now, I have to put my emotion together and give myself some time to think things over. I am giving myself one month to think on a few issues and decide where I should go from here.
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