My first Chicken Curry

My very first chicken curry. Although it looks a bit horrible, but it taste similar. Not bad for my first attempt. At least I didn't burn it or ended up throwing into the bin.

Frist Time, Second Time, Third Time

First time a man break your heart, it's his fault. Second time a man break your heart, it's your fault. Third time a man break your heart, you're an idiot! At this age and time, I'm still naively believe I could find a man who won't break my heart. Yea, it's the second time and I have myself to blame. There's no such thing of pure heart. There's no such thing as honest heart. The first time a man break my heart, it's was the painfullest feeling I have ever felt and I promise myself there won't be a second time. I would lock my heart in prison and keep it deep and secure inside so no one can find it. That's my motto for many years and it works. No feeling, no heart involved, it was great.

Then came one day I decided to take a risk. Maybe this time will be different, I don't know how the ending would be but I'm GOING TO give it a try! How stupid is that? For a while I lost it. I guess it's because my heart has been lock away for so many years that it's trying to excape. And it excape at the wrong time. Or is it? Maybe there isn't a wrong time to excape. It's just my fault, I shouldn't let my guard down. I should have known better. In a zip, my heart was broken to pieces and this time is fast and furious. Luckily, my heart didn't fully excape from prison. Being in prison for so long, my heart was still adjusting to the nature, to the freedom. Luckily everything was over before my heart is fully feeling-released from life in prison. I managed to keep my compose and finshed the day like any other day. I managed to face people and laugh with them. I managed to put my pain on hold until I reached home. Then... I broke down and cry...

Home is the prison of the heart. Home is where the feeling guarding it 24/7, 365 days. Home has super tied security and no one is allow to enter without 300% scrutiny. Home is where I heal. I'm at home now. I'm not sure for how long but it will be a while. Physically I still go to work and face the world. But my pain will be healing at home. My heart is since locked in a maximum security facilities with more guards outside the door. Heart is going to be there forever.

My feeling is now in fear because one more excape, I'm the idiot. My feeling has to guard the heart with extra, extra care. Feeling should never be loose or take a break or take a risk or go holiday. My feeling must warn me of any potential attack in the future. For me, I have to remind myself to trust my feeling. It's never wrong. I have to gain my confidence towards my feeling. It has guided me all this year and I somehow let it down. In turn, my feeling was disturbed and as a result my heart excape from prison. It will never happen again. I promise.

Now, I have to heal myself. At the same time I have to make sure he doesn't know I was hurt because I make a different promise to him. It's not going to be easy but I have to go through it and face it until I am healed. For now, I have to cry my pain away. This is the life I know.

Work or Sleep

For the last 3 days I've beening burning midnight oil to complete my work and projects. I had 2 small freelance opportunity and I just grab it. It's nice to design again. I wish I could just design and work from home, not having to go to office would be a leisure. I've submitted both work and now it's pending review and probably some amendment.

Tonight, well...it's more like early morning since it's already passed 12am and I'm still working on my board paper to be submit to my boss in a few hours time. Hopefully I can finish it by 4am so I can get some beauty sleep before my day start at 8am. Thank goodness I'm still on holiday, which means I don't have to go to work. This is life, don't you think so? I always feel so happy for my friends who have a choice to work or stay home. I don't think I can go by without work but I would love to go back design again. I'm day dreaming with "Sampai Syurga" by Faizal Tahir song playing on the background.

I've 2 more holiday before I have to go back to office again. By the time I return, I'm very sure there are tons of work waiting for me and most probably overdue or urgent. Luckily, I've rejuvenate and ready to go full charge. I plan to learn to cook curry later so I need to buy the ingredients when the shop opens. I saw the chef make it yesterday on TV and it looks quite simple. Id success, it will be the first time I make curry without any instant ingredients. :-)

Decision Time

After a long thought during the many, many nights, I finally made a decision. That means is starting over again. I hope I won't be moving anytime soon coz it's a lot of commitment to set up and restructure company and departments. Come to think of it, this is what happened everytime I move to a new company. Hmm...I better have a proper planning for this one and my target is to stablise it within 6 months before I can breath. At the same time, I better find an alternative and ways to maintain my passion. :-)

Spliting Emotion

It has been a great year so far...

Since joining my current company, time flies super fast with all the company set up and getting everyone in motion and trying my best to make everyone feel like part of the family. The year started with a lot of testing and fixing bugs for us to launched our product and services on Valentine day. Once launched, things operates at an even faster pace than before. We have to improve users traffic and our products before sales starts. That means more hiring, more training, more skillful staff needed. I was lucky to have hired a group of young and talented staff to work with. Everyone has their own personality but we work towards to same goal, for the brighter future of this company.

We created more verticals to support our main business. We created campaign to draw more users and keeping their interest on our site. We manage to build an outstanding return visitors to our site. With mere 2 months, we already out-perform our competitors and became Malaysia No. 1. The ranking and rating were not in anyway handled by us but a well known 3rd party. We have built a great product everyone can be proud of. I know I am. Having be part of this team and build the company from ground zero to where it is now...I can finally say I did achieved something in life.

My CEO has been tough but he's the most knowledgeable person I've known. To know his thoughts, his vision, I had to throw away everything I have gained from the past and open my mind to learn and see from his point of view. He has great business sense, excellent IT knowledge and a fair person. He's not stingy with his reward. I am proud to have the opportunity to work with him. In fact, it took me 6 months to understand his working style and run as the same pace as him.

Things was going well and I was deciding to grow and work my best for the future of this company. I'm trying ways to create campaign to assist sales to monetise more revenue to the company. My hope is to close 60% of this year sales target. Yea, the economic situation doesn't help but I believe our products and services will be able to help advertisers reaching more users. We have over 1 millions users! I hope to win my fight for staff bonus end of this year. I hope to win an increment for all staff. At least 5% for all staff. Nevermind if I didn't got it but all staff deserve it and it will certainly boost their confidence and moral. Managing this company, I learn to be more diplomatic and patience when dealing with non-perform staff. I want the best for everyone.

However, last week I was approached by a company who would like me to join them. The interview and letter of offer was settled is a zip! I haven't sign the offer letter yet. There's something in my heart. Something that's heavy for me to let go. The package the new company offer is 20% increment and the best part is I don't have tp handle sales target. It's great right? But like every job I joined, the first 6 to 12 months will be super busy where I have to set up and restructure everything. I thnk I have became quite good at it. In fact, I think this is my skills. In the new company, I have to work till wee hours twice a week due to the production datelines. I know I can improve it but that means I have to start working till late nights again. That means I don't have personal life again. That means work stress again. This mean I will miss a bonus again. I missed a bonus from my previous company because I left the company late last year. If I accepted this offer, it means I have to start work in December. I would be missing out bonus from my current company. Should I go? My heart is having a spliting emotion.

The good thing of the new company is that I will be reporting to a English CEO. I work better in a multi-national company. I've having a spliting emotion. Should I go? I have to take this holiday and think through. I wish I have someone I can share this question.

Dewa 19 - Pupus

This is my all-time-favourite from Dewa 19. Kawan, don't forget to sing this song when we organise karaoke later :-P

The Lucky Laki - Superman

My friend sent me a song by Ahmad Dhani, best known for Dewa 19. This is an interesting and catchy song from his 3 sons, Al Ghazali (Al), El Jalaluddin Rumi (El), Ahmad Abdul Qodir Jaelani (Dul). The lyric is funny and the debut single makes you want to listen to it over and over again. The song is about and for their dad. Don't you think the 3 boys are so talented?

Watching Off Pedder 畢打自己人

I'm currently watching Off Pedder, a TVB drama about the life of the staff working in a publishing firm. There is a total of 340 episodes. Although it's a lot but don't worry because the drama is base on short stories of each event. Therefore you won't need to follow up from beginning to end. It can be watch from any expisode.

The PLOT: On Pedder Street, there have been rumours of a competitive business woman, Ivy Yan Seung (Teresa Mo), coming to steal power away from Susan Ka So-Shan (Elaine Jin) at Chao Magazine. The two women must bribe their staff to join their side in order to gain the leadership of the firm.

Beside these two women, are two men who also hold strong power in the firm, Yim Yue-Dai (Stephen Au) and Ryan Yu Ka-Sing (Wayne Lai). How will these four individuals affect Pedder Street and who will become the ultimate leader of Chao Magazine...?

I still have a long way to go. A good recommendation from my Bro in-law.

Office Gathering

Last Friday we had office gathering at TGIF at Pavilion. The service was good and restaurant staff was professional and attentive to their customers. We had a long tables at the corner and pre-booked our menu earlier so the food arrived on time just before the breaking fast. The theme of this gathering is Ramadan so obviously everyone eats when our Muslim colleagues break fast. Every 2 months we have a gathering for all staff to boost team spirit and this is our fourth gathering this year. Everyone has a great time and food was good. Unfortunately, most of us can't finished the food so some of the colleagues have it packed.


At the end of the dinner, we had a gift exchange. As majority of the staff are below 30's, everyone is enjoying this and most took great care to buy a nice gift for colleague. However, there are a few who weren't as attentive as the others and ended up with gifts like mouse pad (who use it anymore...), 4 kid-pack of love letters (this is so sad) and a keychain (like we don't have enough). The nicer ones are pillow, mug, vase, alarm, pc fan, more mugs and a paper bin. My friend can't make it because both of us miscommunicate on the day. He thought it was Thursday and I told him I will confirm on Friday. Well, we'll just have to wait for another 2 months before the next event. You miss the fun :-)

1Malaysia TVC from Proton

It's feel like something is missing this year without Yasmin Ahmad TVC screening on our TV during Merdeka time. I feel like something is missing in my life. The only one that slightly caught my attention is the 1Malaysia ad from Proton. Not bad...but will we ever find a TVC director who can produce TVC that touchs common people's heart? Will we ever find a TVC that can relate to our every day life? We'll have to wait and see.

Lost and Found Friendship

It's so great to finally found most of my faculty geng after lost touch so many years. It all happened when one of my course mate posted some faculty photos through facebook and the link when to most of us who have facebook. From there, we found each other and even have a laugh and jokes when we look back our freshment years photos. We look so different now. The guys were laughing at their 6 pack during the days that the photos were purposely shrinked so the '6 pack' don't seem so obvious.

Now, the geng is looking for all the group photos all over so each one can post and share through facebook. Uni days are the best time of our lives. After lost and found each other, everyone seems to have sudden burst of energy and inspirations in life. I guess 'seeing' each other again motivate our spirits and we see ourselves grown so much. Everyone has a achieved something in their lives, no matter big or small. It inspire me to move forward with my part time MBA, despite the financial situation. Theres's a will, there's a way.